I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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