Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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