It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
