There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
