do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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