It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
