i think i have two assholes
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
