Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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