apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
