My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
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have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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