remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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