Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
