I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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