oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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