I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
