The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
