I accidentally burped into my bong.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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