hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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