I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
