ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
