she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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