Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
