I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
