im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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