i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
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OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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