i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
