It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
