What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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