So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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