Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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