Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
