i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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