i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
