the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
