Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
