I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
