"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
