He kissed a someone with a penis
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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