So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
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dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
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He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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