She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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