I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize