i just had sex bonerless
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
