yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
