Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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