If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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