I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Man, jail baloney is awful.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
