Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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