so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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