I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
