My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
