man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
