I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
