dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
