if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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