Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
