If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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