I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
