before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize