why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
