I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
