either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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