so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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