Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
