There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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