God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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